family of 4, but usually of 2 because 4th is at college.
uses third row sparingly. would like an suv with good mileage, easy to drive, good acceleratoin, and less than about 45K

also, would like the suv with some decent off roading ability especially in snow

MERRCEDES-BENZ DEF. More Luxury...better warranty great off road, Acadia is like a cheap Mercedes look a like.

I'd say go for the GMC Acadia or it's twin- The Saturn Outlook:
http://saturn.com/outlook

Also go for a Cadillac SRX Crossover:
http://cadillac.com/srx

Good Luck.

probably not the answer you want to hear but neither. they are both lackluster, overpriced and have low reliability. go with a honda or a toyota.. heck even the nissan pathfinder or xterra are better..